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The one with ‘the lazy honest ambitious post’

July 12, 2012

My MBA classes got over few weeks back. I had made big plans for this much awaited time. I had promised myself that I wasn’t going back to my sad condition in the haunted years of 2009 – 2011. I had promised myself I was going to be tougher with myself after MBA. I was going to drive. Search for a job. Learn to make those  bloody colourful cupcakes.  Improve my appearance. Get out of my closet. Write more and make art.

It was an ambitious plan.

But I thought I would do it automatically you know, considering the fact that my ego and self-esteem took a serious hit few years back. I thought I wouldn’t let the same shit happen again. The same feelings of being useless and not special, being alone and scared would not take over me again.

So what the hell happened?

I’m the laziest person I know. Ok, wait – there is this other friend of mine but I think we’re almost neck and neck now. I know I could do all the things I planned on doing if only I wasn’t so bloody dead in life! I mean I have the energy of a dead body. I play Mahjong Titans on an obsessive level. Spend hours and hours on Tumblr. Keep adding things to the dozen lists I’ve made. And make new blogs. In the end, I had to make a list of all the blogs I own and then categorized it into: the ones I update frequently, blogs I want to update frequently, blogs I’ll never reveal to anyone I know, and yada yada. Sort of like Monica categorizing her towels.

The only thing I do without any sort of coercing is writing (which you shouldn’t judge by this post because I am whining like a nincompoop)

Sometimes I think, at this rate, I would turn out to be a woman who refuses to get out of her chair and pokes people with a long stick to get her things done (I remember seeing a video like this when I was small .. it’s been stalking me like a ghost since) or worse, having people warn others with, “don’t be lazy or you’ll end up like Annie” WORST CASE SCENARIO

I used to envy people who got their things done without even trying because they either had other people do it for them or the universe decided to sprinkle luck-dust on them. But I don’t anymore. Now I just admire people who crush most of the distractions, move ahead, and get their things done Scarlet O’Hara style. I belong to the gang of people who have to earn their way towards their goal. And it’s cool with me. If only I wasn’t such a couch potato.

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A wanderer’s secrets

July 10, 2012

Her eyes glazed,

As polished glass;

Sitting before me,

Silence filling the air,

Between our distance.

 

Was she wandering over the meadows?

Strolling among daisies and lilies,

Or marvelling a sunset;

How I wish to know,

A wanderer’s secrets.

 

Was she dancing in a grand hall?

Or singing a great tune,

I could imagine

As her fingers moved,

Across a page of Austen;

To pretend to the world,

She was not smitten,

By a fantasy in the corners

Of her mind and soul.

 

Was she laughing now?

Travelling merrily on a cloud,

Playing with the stars,

Forgetting what lay beneath.

 

A smile rest on her face,

That set me on a journey.

 

How I wish to know,

A wanderer’s secrets.

(Cleaning up the folders on my desktop got me this. My extremely rare attempt at poetry. Damn you people who could rhyme line after line!)

And then there were two .. my sister joins the blog wagon!

July 1, 2012

I got my sister to finally start her own wordpress page! It’s only a week old but she’s hooked on to it already. How could you not BE hooked anyway? (That was me trying to sound like Chandler Bing)

She’s a student of graphic design, animation and 3D. So the blog is where she flaunts her work. I write a few lines under each of her uploaded images just to add a little zest. Please check it out here http://shadesofcheryl.wordpress.com/

Food for thought

June 23, 2012

Let me tell you something about the internet. The other day I made an illustration from scratch and polished it for hours until it reached a certain level of perfection. Proud moment, I tell you. Then I uploaded it onto a site. It got around *drum rolls* 300 reblogs. I was elated.

Ecstatic.

Beyond orgasmic.

Something I did was being noticed! And right now, I just saw a plain white picture with the word ‘no’ written on it. It got nearly 3000 reblogs. Aha. (Insert whipped noise) So basically, what I’m trying to get across is that if you check the meaning of internet in a dictionary it would be under WTF.

Alright chuck this silly example, but what about those videos on Youtube, those profile pictures on Facebook, those weird memes — I mean seriously haven’t you ever looked at something and wondered what on earth is the hype about?

The Bangalore Rickshaw

June 22, 2012

An animation done by Xaver Xylophon on his visit to my favourite city Bangalore. I gotta say the details in the video were kinda amazing. I smiled through out 😛 The big blue BMTC buses, the ‘no fear’ sign at the back of the auto, the Chinnaswamy stadium (it looks like it to me), the yellow and green autos running on the road, Nilgiris, Rex theatre … Man, I bloody miss Bangalore!  You would think it was a real Indian behind the work! And to top it off, like a cherry on the cake, the Kannada script on the meter. I am dying to go back! I miss the mayhem and its fast paced life.

This is what happens when you stalk hours of Audrey Hepburn

June 15, 2012

I have assignments to complete, exams to study, a book to finish reading and personal projects that are crying for attention. But am I doing any of that? Of course not! Instead I am listening to the ‘My Fair Lady‘  soundtrack and licking spoons of nutella.

P.S. Did this on illustrator and photoshop. Thought I would go lavender on this one because today morning when the sun was hardly up, there were light shades of purple in the sky and it appeared like a wide lavender field for an instant!

A Quote to a Writer

June 1, 2012

Not all creative people are introverted, not by any means, but I know many writers and, believe me, we are constantly thinking about our work. Does it convey the right message, is it accessible or too metaphorical, is it too wordy, too trite, or too trivial? We tread a fine line in writing, trying to get into a reader’s head. We are our own critics, and our own worst enemies. We pour our heart and soul into a book, we sweat blood over our characters, we reveal more of innermost selves in our plots than to a lover. When we send a book out into the world we are sending a tiny piece of ourselves; to be judged, criticized, liked, loathed or worst of all, ignored. All those months, sometimes years, of work, snatched after the day job has finished or when the kids have finally gone to bed, writing in isolation, feeling elation one day and doubt the next, all come to a head. And the question writers want answered is: are we good enough?

I found this article Damaged Souls And Creativity and I wanted to share it because it made me feel immediately good. It would probably take years before I could rake up the guts to publicly say I am a writer but until then I am going to enjoy strolling with other dreamers.

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