The one with ‘the lazy honest ambitious post’

My MBA classes got over few weeks back. I had made big plans for this much awaited time. I had promised myself that I wasn’t going back to my sad condition in the haunted years of 2009 – 2011. I had promised myself I was going to be tougher with myself after MBA. I was going to drive. Search for a job. Learn to make those  bloody colourful cupcakes.  Improve my appearance. Get out of my closet. Write more and make art.

It was an ambitious plan.

But I thought I would do it automatically you know, considering the fact that my ego and self-esteem took a serious hit few years back. I thought I wouldn’t let the same shit happen again. The same feelings of being useless and not special, being alone and scared would not take over me again.

So what the hell happened?

I’m the laziest person I know. Ok, wait – there is this other friend of mine but I think we’re almost neck and neck now. I know I could do all the things I planned on doing if only I wasn’t so bloody dead in life! I mean I have the energy of a dead body. I play Mahjong Titans on an obsessive level. Spend hours and hours on Tumblr. Keep adding things to the dozen lists I’ve made. And make new blogs. In the end, I had to make a list of all the blogs I own and then categorized it into: the ones I update frequently, blogs I want to update frequently, blogs I’ll never reveal to anyone I know, and yada yada. Sort of like Monica categorizing her towels.

The only thing I do without any sort of coercing is writing (which you shouldn’t judge by this post because I am whining like a nincompoop)

Sometimes I think, at this rate, I would turn out to be a woman who refuses to get out of her chair and pokes people with a long stick to get her things done (I remember seeing a video like this when I was small .. it’s been stalking me like a ghost since) or worse, having people warn others with, “don’t be lazy or you’ll end up like Annie” WORST CASE SCENARIO

I used to envy people who got their things done without even trying because they either had other people do it for them or the universe decided to sprinkle luck-dust on them. But I don’t anymore. Now I just admire people who crush most of the distractions, move ahead, and get their things done Scarlet O’Hara style. I belong to the gang of people who have to earn their way towards their goal. And it’s cool with me. If only I wasn’t such a couch potato.